Normal is not what I'm looking for

Sometimes I want to go back in time and fix the mistakes I made. I know they say everything happens for a reason and that everything is meant to be…sometimes I refuse to believe this. If I could go back in time I wouldn’t be at that one place at that one time. I would not meet that one person who in the story of my life made me fall to my knees begging for more. What’s the profound lesson I have learnt from meeting my paramour?

I have learnt not to give in to love. I have learnt to fully assess and decipher every situation, characteristic, every word said and every act. I have learnt to analyse every possible love interest for signs of flaws and possible future implications. You may say this is a good thing…I don’t know that it is. I see it as a barrier. The higher my expectations, the harder it is for normal people to meet them. I suppose normal is not what I’m looking for.