God bless...who exactly?

I’ve recently been feeling emptiness in my life, a kind of abyss that material things or the love of friends and family and my partner can’t fill. Something I cannot explain, something nobody can explain. I’ve always wanted to be more spiritual and closer to God but how would a girl who’s with a girl manage that? I doubt there’s a lesbian-Muslim niche out there for me to snuggle comfortably into, right? Sometimes it’s not enough to just believe. I would love to be able to go and worship Allah like every other Muslim without feeling like a hypocrite for being somewhere I’m not wanted. You’re probably thinking why be a Muslim if you think you won’t be accepted by Allah? Well the thing is I don’t even know the answer to that question.

There are no doubts that I believe in God. To look at the world and the universe and to presume that there is no greater power which has moulded the universe and the planets and stars and life would be very ignorant. I don’t know if praying to this particular power would make me a better person or the world a better place but I would like that option to be able to pray if I felt like it. I would like the luxury that straight people possess of being able to have a proper connection with God without feeling bad for being gay. It’s like praying but knowing that God’s like…I know what you’ve been up to why you trippin?

Society and history have moulded us in such a way that we are oppressed more than any ethnicity and any religion. A Jew may feel oppressed because of all the awful things that have happened to the Jewish race over the years but they still have their faith. They still know that despite what their good with God as long as they stick to the book. Gay people do not have this luxury. A gay man or woman cannot come home from a day of shit and open the Gay Bible (sometimes referred to as Vogue) and find solace in the words of God and the gospel knowing that despite the hate and oppression there will be salvation. There is no messiah that is promised to deliver us from evil or a place for us in heaven. We do not possess this knowledge because the truth is no one knows what God wants.

At the end of the day isn’t religion about love? When we die and hit the pearly gates I reckon we’ll be judged less on who we went down on and more on how much we loved and how much we helped and how happy we made others.


Be Good x